andrew dice clay

Saw him at a club in LA last night. He and Pauly Shore were the only names I recognized. Though I hated his material, the "Diceman" was clearly the best performer by stage presence alone. Comedy must be a harsh profession; I respect anyone willing to put themselves out there on the stage, even if he is a complete asshole.

mad about Madden

We picked up a $1.95 game of Madden 2003. Best two bucks I've spent all year.

giving

The other part of thanking. I contributed the stuffing to our big meal today. My mom got the kids' handprint turkeys. And a bottle of wine was delivered to the woman who recommended that I apply for my current job. Now there's an empty envelope on my desk from the local volunteer fire department that deserves my attention.

anticipation

pills to go

Since when did they start selling packets of pills to-go at the gas station? I suppose a few caffeine pills, herbal supplements or "mega-boost" vitamins are basically equivalent to Red Bull, but there's still something disturbing about it. Maybe I'm just bothered because I picked up a small white pill off my classroom floor last week and realized that it could have been just about anything dropped by just about anyone.

rumors about Fox

I heard a radio snippet about Fox news being responsible for some transferred money just around the time their reporters were released as hostages. Unfortunately, I haven't had much time to find out more about this, but it troubles me.

lunch break

Sitting around the staff lounge today with other moms of young ones, we spent the entire time discussing toilet training. I'm glad to be around peers, but I look forward to the day when our conversations are a little less practical.

Suicide

From an anonymous teacher-friend.

Welcome to the top 10 things NOT to say while educating teens about suicide:

10. How many people don't want to be here right now?

9. I had a lot of fun being a suicide hotline responder.

8. Depression happens to everyone. It just lasts longer for some people.

7. People deciding whether to be homosexual instead of heterosexual might want to kill themselves.

6. You're supposed to have many, many boyfriends or girlfriends at this age. When you break up with someone, you'll probably find someone new in 2-3 days. That's your job at this stage in your life.

5. Another group of people who think about suicide are people who just can't get over being sexually or physically abused.

4. Teenagers who lose a loved one might think, "If only I could see that person up in heaven and talk with them one more time." But what they don't realize is that they can't come back and tell us all how wonderful it was to talk to them.

3. If you aren't involved at church, you're more likely to think about suicide.

2. If you know of someone thinking about suicide, tell Mrs. X. [Gee, thanks. You're the one with the psychology degree.]

1. Raise your hand if you've ever been humiliated.

Disclaimer: A former student of mine hanged himself. I think about what could I have done to prevent it, what warning signs did I miss, what could I have told the class that would give him solace. I still don't know. I do know that talking about suicide to teenagers is very hard. You don't want to say something that will reinforce reasons teens commit suicide--e.g. everyone will feel really bad and miss you so much.

Some people are of the opinion that adults should simply avoid sensitive topics (suicide, drugs, sex, etc.) because it just gives kids bad ideas. I'm not one of those people. However, I think talking about these topics appropriately is extremely important. A bad lecture about suicide, for example, might be worse than no lecture at all.

hero

"We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by." - Will Rogers

My brother qualified for the Boston Marathon. I'm awfully proud to sit on the metaphorical curb and clap as he runs by.

expensive taste

Knowing which wine goes with which meal is pretty decadent in my book. Buying a robot that does all the work for you is beyond excess.

wasted

The eco-peer pressure from James and Old Man Rich drove me to Slate's Stop killing our planet website. (Ok, so it's called something like the Green Challenge, but I'm too lazy to look it up.) I think there must be a mistake because I'm far less wasteful than I thought. Really. I took the quiz twice and can't get it above 11,000-something.

I expected to feel guilty. Now I feel really guilty. If I made an effort to cut down on my carbon emissions, who knows how low I could go. It's like finding out that it would be very easy and convenient to help someone out, but all this time I've just been too oblivious and self-centered.

You know, now I'm thinking I've got an excuse to not use a stationary bike. Think of how much energy that thing wastes. If only I could hook it up to store electricity so that I couldn't take a hot shower, for instance, until I'd biked a certain number of kilometers. Hmmmm.

Thank you

I'm a couple of weeks early.

never voted

I met a woman in her late fifties who has never voted. She was born in the U.S., lived here all her life, and still has never registered to vote. Since I went into the voting booth as a kid with my parents, it's hard for me to imagine her fear of it.

Her main excuse is that she doesn't want to be the fool who casts a vote for something/someone she doesn't know about. When I told her that she can leave some of them blank, she was much relieved. Though it's too late this time around, I hope that she eventually decides to register for the next election.

jerk

Maliciously starting wildfires is roughly equivalent to cutting the gas lines of ederly people in Minnesota during February. And just think, we probably shopped at the same grocery store as Mr. Oyler. No longer.

I sincerely hope a) they caught the right guy, and b) he spends the rest of his life behind bars.

take-home test

I finished bubbling in our twelve-page ballot. All these ridiculous initiatives in California are enough to make any sane person question referendums (referendi?).

Although it looks like I'm stuck with our Terminator governor, I've got my fingers crossed for the person from my local city council whose only profession is "Gardner." Really, I voted for him. Oh yeah, and the national election is kind of interesting, too. . . .

not your mama

A little boy at my kids' daycare bursts into tears every time he sees me. "Ms. Jojo" (yes, that's her "real" name) thinks I look like his mom, which explains why he tears up when I don't cuddle him and take him home with me. It's a little disheartening to be the source of another child's great misfortune.

Today his mom arrived just after me. Sure enough--we do look alike. The dad thought this mixup was hysterical; I think the mom was a little offended that her son confuses her with another woman.

On the good side, the kid got to be cuddled and taken home.