Sunday, April 26, 2009

Going back

I'm scared to go back to work tomorrow. I bought two boxes of Kleenex, but I wish I had the equivalent of Kevlar emotional armor. I don't know what to tell my students. I don't know why this is such a taboo topic. When my grandmother had a heart attack, it was a no-brainer to share with my students. It's easier though when the outcome is good. I think I won't know what to say until the actual moment comes. "I don't want to talk about it" seems like a good back-up option.

It doesn't help that I'm also paranoid of catching the swine flu. Worse, that my kids will catch it. How can I suddenly be so terrified of the same world I lived in last Tuesday? Why do main characters die in all the novels I teach, like A Separate Peace, which I just started? This completely sucks.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

In life we suffer loss
In loss we suffer through life.
Life changes, we might still laugh at somethings but grief seems to always turn the volume down.
With each passing day grief is still present, but hopefully the volume of happiness can be slowly turned up.
Good luck, be truthful, may all our love and energy be with you.

11:00 PM  
Blogger Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Two boxes should do it love.

Take care of yourself.


2:56 AM  
Blogger Joan and Steve said...

Your students are incredibly lucky to have you. They need someone to model for them how to get through hard times when it seems impossible and there's no road map for how to do it, and I know that you will do that with such grace and class.

And about the literature... in American Lit, the most frequent complaint I got from students was that there was always someone dying. The really good literature seems to almost always involve death or loss, because it's universal and it's human. The really great authors are the ones that can make that loss into something beautiful. This, in turn, reminds me of you and what you are going through. The writing that you have shared with the world has been beautiful and real, and if you're okay with students seeing that, and knowing that unfortunately, sometimes bad things happen to really wonderful people, then share it... but if you need to protect yourself, know that in this great big world, that's okay too.

You're amazing and wonderful, and I just wish that there was something I could do to help.

5:07 PM  

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