special delivery

Nintendo is shipping a brand new Wii game console to our house, at no charge. Despite the larger quantities of Wii on the market, they are still difficult to come by around here. So how did I get so lucky, you ask? Follow these simple steps and you, too, might be so fortunate.

1. Wake up early.
2. Drive 30 miles to nearest Best Buy and wait outside for 1 1/2 hours in line behind others as foolish as you.
3. Resist the urge to laugh too loudly during the morning sales rep chant.
4. Don't bother to hide your disappointment when you learn they have no Wii today.
5. Repeat on day two.
6. This time, drive around first and find the longest line outside any videogame retailer.
7. Make pleasant conversation with those in line as foolish as you.
8. Call your wife on her cell and pass on the rumor that Target has a new delivery of Wii.
9. Drive rapidly across town, secure little ones into shopping cart with flimsy seatbelt and run through parking lot.
10. Stand in line behind others even though Wii #70 (the last one) is promised to the older woman in the orange sweater standing four places ahead of you.
11. Covet your neighbor's Wii. Wait. Wait. Hope.
12. Buy the very last Wii. Hooray!
13. Drive home with unhappy kids and bad Christmas carols, but it's all ok because you've got a Wii.
14. Set it up.
15. Furrow brow at strange grinding noises when the game disk doesn't go in.
16. Insist that husband is doing it wrong and repeat steps 14 and 15 multiple times.
17. Call the kind woman at Nintendo customer support.
18. Ship back your defective Wii and wait for a replacement.

Yeah, it's worth it.